Comments for Quietdrunk's Weblog http://quietdrunk.wordpress.com Just another WordPress.com weblog Wed, 04 Nov 2009 21:03:46 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 Comment on Surviving small talk sober… for 3 hours! by almostfaithless http://quietdrunk.wordpress.com/2009/09/23/surviving-small-talk-sober-for-3-hours/#comment-187 almostfaithless Wed, 04 Nov 2009 21:03:46 +0000 http://quietdrunk.wordpress.com/?p=266#comment-187 it's been a while.... hoping you're OK... make a sign, wave out the window or something.... take care it’s been a while…. hoping you’re OK… make a sign, wave out the window or something…. take care

]]> Comment on Surviving small talk sober… for 3 hours! by Chaz http://quietdrunk.wordpress.com/2009/09/23/surviving-small-talk-sober-for-3-hours/#comment-186 Chaz Sat, 17 Oct 2009 15:17:23 +0000 http://quietdrunk.wordpress.com/?p=266#comment-186 Hey Quiet.... wow.... closing in on the year! Way to go. I can relate to the bar thing. Not my most comfortable environment and I have a get-together tonight at a bar and my wife isnt with me. So will have to stay on my toes. Ya... social anxieties. I dont mind smalltalk and groups. It is always interesting to see how people interact. I guess we have to make ourselve vulnerable to the possibility that an interaction wont go well or will fizzle. I hate that. Yet, I suppose the key to dealing with such things for me is to limit expecations and try to forget self. If focuses on the other person and shows genuine interest, the chances of success are best. Anyway... glad to see you hanging in there and staying sane. Ciao. Chaz Hey Quiet…. wow…. closing in on the year! Way to go.

I can relate to the bar thing. Not my most comfortable environment and I have a get-together tonight at a bar and my wife isnt with me. So will have to stay on my toes.

Ya… social anxieties. I dont mind smalltalk and groups. It is always interesting to see how people interact. I guess we have to make ourselve vulnerable to the possibility that an interaction wont go well or will fizzle. I hate that.

Yet, I suppose the key to dealing with such things for me is to limit expecations and try to forget self. If focuses on the other person and shows genuine interest, the chances of success are best.

Anyway… glad to see you hanging in there and staying sane.

Ciao.

Chaz

]]> Comment on Surviving small talk sober… for 3 hours! by Mary W http://quietdrunk.wordpress.com/2009/09/23/surviving-small-talk-sober-for-3-hours/#comment-185 Mary W Wed, 23 Sep 2009 15:28:37 +0000 http://quietdrunk.wordpress.com/?p=266#comment-185 I don't do the social thing well either. I don't know if I am anti-social, shy or just plain scared! It took me years to speak in meetings. I still only have a few friends in AA. Bars are always tough after getting sober. The first few years I wouldn't go near them. But if one is being paid to do the socializing, then I guess one has to do what is necessary. But this could have been an opportunity to see who you are now that you are sober. It is amazing that we don't talk about booze, even when we are in bars. And introducing yourself to strangers takes practice. Being the greeter of your home group might help that. You are forced into behavior that isn't comfortable. Eventually, it becomes part of who you are. Act as if. Take it a day at a time. And keep writing. I don’t do the social thing well either. I don’t know if I am anti-social, shy or just plain scared! It took me years to speak in meetings. I still only have a few friends in AA.

Bars are always tough after getting sober. The first few years I wouldn’t go near them. But if one is being paid to do the socializing, then I guess one has to do what is necessary. But this could have been an opportunity to see who you are now that you are sober. It is amazing that we don’t talk about booze, even when we are in bars. And introducing yourself to strangers takes practice. Being the greeter of your home group might help that. You are forced into behavior that isn’t comfortable. Eventually, it becomes part of who you are. Act as if.

Take it a day at a time. And keep writing.

]]> Comment on Still trying to ignore the life-or-death deal by Mary W http://quietdrunk.wordpress.com/2009/09/21/still-trying-to-ignore-the-life-or-death-deal/#comment-184 Mary W Wed, 23 Sep 2009 15:21:54 +0000 http://quietdrunk.wordpress.com/2009/09/21/still-trying-to-ignore-the-life-or-death-deal/#comment-184 After all the years I have been in AA, I still forget that alcohol will kill me. Every time someone goes back out, I am reminded that I only have today. I originally came in when I was in my late 30's and didn't get the program fully until I was 41. I have genetic disposition for this disease. My dad died of chirrosis of the liver. I am one of those YET people: You are Eligible, Too. Never got a DUI/DWI, never got arrested for drinking, never really lost anything, I thought, due to my drinking. I even kept really good jobs while I was in my sickest part of the disease. I don't know why my Higher Power decided that I was ready to stop drinking. But I certainly didn't do it. I have also found that if I am not here for myself, then I am playing a game. Thus the reason why I didn't stay sober the first time around. Again, all you can do is pray for this person to get and stay sober. Hard, but necessary for your own sobriety. After all the years I have been in AA, I still forget that alcohol will kill me. Every time someone goes back out, I am reminded that I only have today. I originally came in when I was in my late 30’s and didn’t get the program fully until I was 41.
I have genetic disposition for this disease. My dad died of chirrosis of the liver. I am one of those YET people: You are Eligible, Too. Never got a DUI/DWI, never got arrested for drinking, never really lost anything, I thought, due to my drinking. I even kept really good jobs while I was in my sickest part of the disease. I don’t know why my Higher Power decided that I was ready to stop drinking. But I certainly didn’t do it. I have also found that if I am not here for myself, then I am playing a game. Thus the reason why I didn’t stay sober the first time around.

Again, all you can do is pray for this person to get and stay sober. Hard, but necessary for your own sobriety.

]]> Comment on Still trying to ignore the life-or-death deal by quietdrunk http://quietdrunk.wordpress.com/2009/09/21/still-trying-to-ignore-the-life-or-death-deal/#comment-183 quietdrunk Tue, 22 Sep 2009 18:48:48 +0000 http://quietdrunk.wordpress.com/2009/09/21/still-trying-to-ignore-the-life-or-death-deal/#comment-183 I know, I thought everyone was exaggerating when they said alcoholism would kill me if I didn't get sober. I thought it was just a scare tactic. But now I'm afraid it could actually happen, and the sad thing is that he's still in his thirties and has a whole life ahead of him. Or does if he can get sober. I know, I thought everyone was exaggerating when they said alcoholism would kill me if I didn’t get sober. I thought it was just a scare tactic. But now I’m afraid it could actually happen, and the sad thing is that he’s still in his thirties and has a whole life ahead of him. Or does if he can get sober.

]]> Comment on Still trying to ignore the life-or-death deal by Mary W http://quietdrunk.wordpress.com/2009/09/21/still-trying-to-ignore-the-life-or-death-deal/#comment-182 Mary W Tue, 22 Sep 2009 14:46:52 +0000 http://quietdrunk.wordpress.com/2009/09/21/still-trying-to-ignore-the-life-or-death-deal/#comment-182 Oh yeah. I was that way too when I first came into the rooms. I couldn't percieve how alcohol could or would kill me. But then a friend in the rooms relapsed. He had been trying for 10 years to get sober. He died. That was 19 years ago. His sponsor was sad, as was everyone else, but his sponsor said, he was an alcoholic and wanted to drink more than he wanted to stay sober. He hadn't given the problem over to his Higher Power. Our disease is never cured, only arrested. Alcoholism is truly cunning, baffling and powerful. When one thinks they are well, it is best to go to more meetings, do service work, talk to one's sponsor and work the Steps. The best thing you can do for the man who relapsed, is to pray that he comes back to the rooms and finally gets the fact that this IS a killer disease. Also, remember, there but for the grace of God, go I. Oh yeah. I was that way too when I first came into the rooms. I couldn’t percieve how alcohol could or would kill me. But then a friend in the rooms relapsed. He had been trying for 10 years to get sober. He died. That was 19 years ago. His sponsor was sad, as was everyone else, but his sponsor said, he was an alcoholic and wanted to drink more than he wanted to stay sober. He hadn’t given the problem over to his Higher Power.

Our disease is never cured, only arrested. Alcoholism is truly cunning, baffling and powerful. When one thinks they are well, it is best to go to more meetings, do service work, talk to one’s sponsor and work the Steps.

The best thing you can do for the man who relapsed, is to pray that he comes back to the rooms and finally gets the fact that this IS a killer disease. Also, remember, there but for the grace of God, go I.

]]> Comment on Flaky alcoholics and drunk dreams by Mary W. http://quietdrunk.wordpress.com/2009/09/10/262/#comment-180 Mary W. Fri, 11 Sep 2009 14:11:51 +0000 http://quietdrunk.wordpress.com/?p=262#comment-180 Sorry that your 'friend' didn't work out. We keep having to do these things over and over again until we find we don't get different results. Part of learning how to maneuver through sobriety. I am coming up on 20 years sober and had a really serious drunk dream about a month ago. I drank 4 drinks. Why that amount I have no clue. All I knew is that in my dream I had taken the 19 years of sobriety I have and flushed it down the toilet. Thank God it was a dream. I find that just about the time I am to pick up a chip, my drunk dreams come on full force. But I also believe that HP is telling me not to romance the drink anymore. It wasn't fun and I wasn't a lady. Today I am both. Learn and grow. Sorry that your ‘friend’ didn’t work out. We keep having to do these things over and over again until we find we don’t get different results. Part of learning how to maneuver through sobriety.

I am coming up on 20 years sober and had a really serious drunk dream about a month ago. I drank 4 drinks. Why that amount I have no clue. All I knew is that in my dream I had taken the 19 years of sobriety I have and flushed it down the toilet. Thank God it was a dream. I find that just about the time I am to pick up a chip, my drunk dreams come on full force. But I also believe that HP is telling me not to romance the drink anymore. It wasn’t fun and I wasn’t a lady. Today I am both.

Learn and grow.

]]> Comment on Playing with fire… again by quietdrunk http://quietdrunk.wordpress.com/2009/09/02/playing-with-fire-again/#comment-179 quietdrunk Thu, 10 Sep 2009 23:00:37 +0000 http://quietdrunk.wordpress.com/?p=260#comment-179 That's true... I should just wait until it's been a year anyway since I'm almost there. Maybe I should just start going to women's meetings and that way I won't have to worry about it. That’s true… I should just wait until it’s been a year anyway since I’m almost there. Maybe I should just start going to women’s meetings and that way I won’t have to worry about it.

]]> Comment on Playing with fire… again by Mary W http://quietdrunk.wordpress.com/2009/09/02/playing-with-fire-again/#comment-175 Mary W Wed, 02 Sep 2009 14:37:10 +0000 http://quietdrunk.wordpress.com/?p=260#comment-175 I have learned that I have to like being by myself before I can go into another relationship. The idea stinks, I know, but until I get rid of the baggage that I am carrying, I will drag it into everything that I do. I have watched too many 'couples' go back out because they didn't listen to wise old timers or their sponsors. Remember, alcohol is but a symptom of our deeper disease. Besides, do you want HIS baggage? Divorce and relapse aren't good factors in a new relationship. Might want to keep it business like and pay him for doing your website. And believe it or not, the crush will pass. Hang with the girls for awhile. My AA girlfriends have kept me from getting into some really hairy relationships over the years. Mary I have learned that I have to like being by myself before I can go into another relationship. The idea stinks, I know, but until I get rid of the baggage that I am carrying, I will drag it into everything that I do. I have watched too many ‘couples’ go back out because they didn’t listen to wise old timers or their sponsors. Remember, alcohol is but a symptom of our deeper disease.

Besides, do you want HIS baggage? Divorce and relapse aren’t good factors in a new relationship. Might want to keep it business like and pay him for doing your website.

And believe it or not, the crush will pass. Hang with the girls for awhile. My AA girlfriends have kept me from getting into some really hairy relationships over the years.

Mary

]]> Comment on 11 months sober, and worlds collide by quietdrunk http://quietdrunk.wordpress.com/2009/08/30/11-months-sober-and-worlds-collide/#comment-173 quietdrunk Wed, 02 Sep 2009 03:13:17 +0000 http://quietdrunk.wordpress.com/?p=256#comment-173 Oh, running would be a good excuse! I actually did a triathlon when I was drinking, belive it or not. I had kind of a pitiful time, though, because the open swim lessons were at 8 a.m. on Saturday. Needless to say, I was usually hung over on Saturday mornings. Oh, running would be a good excuse! I actually did a triathlon when I was drinking, belive it or not. I had kind of a pitiful time, though, because the open swim lessons were at 8 a.m. on Saturday. Needless to say, I was usually hung over on Saturday mornings.

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